lingering.

Remember the post on death i wrote last month ?

Remember Yee Chiat who left us ?

Well, death struck again.

I feel like kicking myself in the rear for once again taking more than a day for me to register it into my thick skull.

Patrick, her husband, e-mailed me a few days back, informing us of her death. Hit-and-run. Heh. I really dont know what to say. I guess, i still need some time to digest this.

Tempus omnia sed memorias privat. Time deprives all but memories.

Quoting Agris,

Raine, may your ripple remain forever.

The last post was so so random. Ignore it 'kay.

Except the last part, about lunch.

I think it's the lack of sleep la. Hahaha.

G'night people.

beep beep.

Been staying up the past few nights blabbering nonsense with Nigel (Tan) and Desmond online.

Thank goodness neither of them're online tonight.

Judging from the fact that Mr Tan is going to hit the gym AND run after he gets back from viewing Campus Superstar, i bet he's sure to repeat what happened last friday.

I woke up at 6am, changed then well, rested on the sofa for a while then.. Well..

I was late that day coz i waited for him can ? Beep.

And coz of that i had to get an extra tpjc badge. Waste of 1.60 .. Argh.

So yea. To put things short,

SLEEP EARLY LA YOU IDIOT. BEEP BEEP BEEP.


Oh yea. Anyone wanna go out for lunch tomorrow ?

responds

Took down the tagboard. I might be putting a new one up or the old one back. Depends.

Comments shall be open during this period.

links.

Okay okay. Links i need to put up or edit.

Malerie.
Adeline.
Vanessa.
Winxin.
Hanisah.
Joanne.
Melissa.

TPJC
Dinie.
HuiQi
Nigel.
Esther.
Desmond.
Kenneth.

Dead links. By this i mean links and only links. Not dead blogs. Coz i'm not sure if they'll get back "alive" and all asking me to link'em. *cough*WeiLi*cough* So yea.

AndrewS.
Hilyah.
Geraldine.


Okay okay. That's all i can recall for now. I think there's more for the TPJC side and my OOS contacts but yea. I'll check back on monday for the TPJC ones or something. =/

Spinner.

Life's getting a lil' messy now. So here's some happenings.

Brought baileys to school again. =/

Joseph claims that he smelt the baileys THEN saw me. Giddy said the same too.

Hey. I didnt drink that much.. Half my bottle at most..

Passed alexi the african violets just now. I really really feel for the flowers. Sigh. I'm sorry alexi !*

That aside, i was planning to go to the airport afterwhich to pick up Neil Gaiman's Sandman. (Not my fault that the nearby bookstores are all OOS.) But coz J. called up earlier on (bout 5) asking to meet up, i took 17 back to bedok.

Only thing is, while on the bus i thought about some stuff and ended up calling him, canceling our meeting and coming home straight.

Oh well.






Life's spinning.

You know what that means.


*He also mentioned, "i will stop mental warfare with my friends.". Which is a tingle of good news since J. seems to have decided to start the mind games again after our 3 (or is it 4 ?) month hiatus.

all that i knew.

Heartbeat.

There's something spinning again.

Something's gonna mess me up again.

Heartbeat.









I wonder what is it.

Seize The Day.

Went to mjc again. I find the school so different. So intimidating. Lacks the 'homey' feel.

Oh well.

On way back i suddenly felt like catching a movie. Ends up everyone i asked isnt free (cca, og outing, cg outing, shopping with friends et cetra). Thus i went bsck to school (tpjc) and went about asking people i see if they wanna catch a movie.

It was a rather hopeless shot. Nevertheless, i saw JinRong and Alexi. Thus Alexi and i hung out with JinRong till his bball practice started.

After that, Alexi and i just continued sitting there and talking till bout 4 when his vs friends came over and joined. We left shortly after that, took 9 and continued rambling as we were on the bus.

Then when enquired about "what're you gonna do when you reach home", we generally had nothing to do. So while i suggested a trip on the mrt to BoonLay and back, Alexi suggested the airport, so we rushed down the bus and caught a train.

Spent the rest of the day at the airport with him till bout 5.30

Not a very productive day but interesting and insightful nonetheless.

Alexi is very different from the rest i know. Very very analytical.

nanyang

Giddy called me a "naughty lil girl".

Like so damn stone la. I feel so damn insulted can ???

I shall complain more later when in the mood to as well as talk of my trip to nyjc.



Ps. I bought more socks ! Yay ! Shuyun is filled happiness. =))

Pps. I bought a house tee from nyjc. Dont ask why. I just felt that it looks nice. >.<

Ppps. Wangki, it's so obvious why the note was so formal lor. =/

giddy the bobo.

I bring you this last minute posting to complain that Mr Gideon Sim aka Giddy is damn stupid la.

Giddy that idiot keeps saying that i'm snooping around coz while i see him in school he claims that he rarely sees me. Like dumb can ?

Stalk you my foot la. Rawr. I rather stalk that cute and short lil' marist guy. Hahahaha. ( So cute so cute so cute so cute so cute. =) )

Then coz accidently called him lat night at slightly before 10, he claims that i scared the living daylights out of him. Where got people even sleep so early one. Besides, was a missed call la. Why would receiving a call scare people anyway. Nuts la. Haha.

Okay okay. I'm not even making sense now.

I shall do a long naggy complain bout Giddy tomorrow night when i get back from nyjc.

Edit: Crap. Nigel (Tan) just signed on. Argh. Must. Sleep. Shoo. Nigel. Argh.

mmhmm

I'm late but here's the breakdown nonetheless.

English: B4
Humanes: B3
EMath: A1
AMath: A2
Science: A1
Biology: A2
Chinese: B3

So yea.. R5 13, R4 10 ..

Oh and today's a marvelous day no ?

Happy Total Defence Day's Eve !! =P

Haha.

Ps. Happy Valentine's Day. =)

chocolate

For some unknown reason, (i think was last night's cab ride home with Debbie and Cheryl la.* ) i recalled that certain evening after track when Joseph, Khairi, GuoMing and me went to macs for dinner.

Afterwhich Khairi needed to pick up some stuff from 7-11, thus we went in and while the guys went about, i for some reason stopped near the entrance and well, started looking at the condoms section. And being the plug-in happy, music-blasting person that i am, i asked a lil' too loudly, "Eh. How come no strawberry ?" causing the guys much embarrassment.

The next training day when Khairi, WangKi and i snuck out of school for lunch, Khairi was telling WangKi about how "she said so loudly". But WangKi instead of having Khairi's "aiyoh, why you so liddat" reaction, looked up calmly from his food and said, "still got chocolate summore" causing Khairi to pretend to bang his head again the nearby wall while i was positively fascinated by the revelation.

When prompted about the credibility of the existance of a chocolate flavoured one, WangKi reassured me about it while revealing the existance of a banana flavoured one too. This then lead Khairi to renounce his acquaintance with us. Oh well.

Nutty incidents.


*Debbie was telling us bout how they filled one of those vibrating condoms with water and well, watched it vibrate. Afterwhich they spun it around a couple of times before the battery ran out. =/

lovin' you

Number one reminder why i love being in damai despite that all unpleasant things that've happened before.

Whenever you dont feel alright, there's the girls to give you a hug while the guys scamper to find tissue and offer to do nice lil' things for ya. A big thank you to my darlings. =))

Anyway, results were below expectations. But two days and it has got me thinking.

Yup. I'm grateful.

When i pondered about it, i realised that indeed, what i put in effort for did pay off.

My English and Biology were below expectations while my Science was really surprising..

Even though i wasnt pinning too much hope on bio after the crazy practical and paper 2.. While my sci grade WAS what i wanted.. Oh well.

Humans're such paradoxical creatures. =/



Aide toy, Dieu te aidera.

Thanks Daddy. =)

Revelations

I cried a lot la. Dammit. I dont wanna talk about it can ?

even till now

I just realised shawn broke up. The poor chap. No wonder he seemed so dead when i called him then. I feel guilty joking bout him and his gf that day. I honestly had no idea. Sigh. =/

Anyway, i was flipping through folders in my ibook and guess what i found. This folder with messages sent from daniel. Haha. I'll quote from one of them.

"We may forget each other in 20-30 years from now. But we should never doubt the relationship with each other. I mean it when I say I will do all I can to be there for you. When you fall or cry; laugh or smile I will be there."

Daniel has this way of putting things. Saying things that just make me feel so relieved. So happy that i'll literally cry. Even till now.

Everytime i talk to him i feel all defences crumbling. Sobbing like that stupid little girl that i am while he simply sighs and calms me.

Thank you for always forgiving this brat even when she hardly deserves it. Thank you for standing by me then.

barrier. moving.

Every time i shut my eyes. No matter where i am or what i'm doing. I'll see my hand stretching out, be it slowly or forcefully, and then getting repelled by this invisible wall in front of me 10 times as hard as i had pushed forward.

Afterwhich, a weight would seem to be added onto my heart as it gets weighed down for a reason i've yet to comprehend.

The perplexity of this vision within my mind's eye is driving me into a mild frenzy. While a debate i have yet to understood why it even exists takes place within me.

My heart's like that river flow lately. Skittering from one place to another so fast, so rapidly that i've yet to understand where i am and where i stand.

dreams

Opening the drawer always brings back tons of memories.

Boxes of lil' tinklets left hidden.
Letters that've been read time after time.
Cards that still hold writings so warm and fuzzy.
Notes of support scribbled with an anxious hand.
Photos that're a constant proof of great times past.


Everytime, it's like opening a chest filled with memories.



Memories that seem to burst out everytime you open it.




Scenes replaying over and over again like a never ending tape.





I love my dream chest - even if it makes me choke up all the time. =)

touch.

Looks give people the first impression. But it's the chemistry between people that keeps the relationship going. Love is never complete without chemistry, it's just like a petrol engine car without petrol. Chemistry between people is not something we can create ourselves. It's an unexplainable "click" between the people. It's just like a pair of matching jigsaw pieces. If they are not matching, not matter how you turn it, they can't fit. You'll know when you found the right person.

Just a piece of my thought :)

Found this off TJC's forums. It's rather true no ?

Sigh. Anyway, yup, i should NOT have started that stupid game. I lost. Utterly. Now there's this sense of deja vu. Only difference is, the last time, i won.

washingboards

Hachiroku sometimes just speaks without thinking.

Guys. So bloody crude. Argh.

I'm like so pissed off at him right now.

remembering: october.

During the month of October aka the Prelims months, i was actually stuck in this vortex of perplexity.

Yet due to it, i gained a realization of myself in a queer manner. While i was seeking God's comfort; while i felt it evading me once more, His grace touched me when i least expected it to.

It was as if a veil was being slowly from my sight. Also due to it, i finally came to acknowledge the fact that i lack the courage and faith needed to start things anew.

I still lack it, thus i'm trying. Still trying. One day maybe. I'll see you eye to eye and finally find the guts to ask you to be back with me.

this.
is my dream.

Looking pass dreams, another major confession was made in October. Where i talk of the crazy front i put on ever-so-often. Well, at least one of them. Haha. Typing this was not easy. It was so personal. So honest and buried. Something that i never expect anyone to say to me. In fact, when i saw his message, i started crying. Little sobs actually. Oh the irony. Hahaha. =)

Oh course some fun and great things happened then too. It was also during this month, that i met up with someone i have not met for a very very long time. 10 years in fact. Jung Pu ! Yup. I met up with her at mjc's open house as we went around. Speaking of which, i have yet to get our photo from that guy yet. Hmm..

Oh oh. I also did a stupid quiz/questionaire thing which i took from zuohan's page. Thus the title. Haha.

Kkkz. Thus i round up October. Next month on will be November. Ah the much dreaded O levels. =))

colour my life

This
is so cool.